WARNING: If you think your parents might throw you out onto the streets or abuse you for being transgender, please hold off coming out to them, it's only logical. If you're not financially independent, then it's a huge problem. Exercise caution and logic at all times.

 

My parents didn't take it well and to this day, they haven't accepted it. I don't have a great relationship with my dad (actually, it's practically nonexistant) so I didn't waste any time trying to convince him. For my little brother, I just told him straight up that I've always felt like a boy, and I'm going to do what I'm going to do regardless of what he or anyone thinks. If we we're family then it shouldn't make a difference. Besides, the relationship I've had with him wasn't one of a big sister and a little brother. I was always the big brother regardless of what gender he viewed me as. He was born 07/02/93 so he's old enough to understand my words, but perhaps isn't mature enough to grasp the scope of it all. Either way, he seems uncomfortable discussing it with me, I avoid talking to him about it unless it's necessary, but I've been trying to normalize it for him. He watches a lot of TV so I tried to use TV shows to strike my point. South Park had an episode about a transgender teacher, it's where Mr. Garrison gets a sex change. It isn't a stellar episode, some parts were offensive, but I found that it was effective in showing him that this stuff isn't "abnormal", it's just uncommon. I tried to throw this topic into his comfort zone, I'm still trying.

 

I have no other siblings, but as for my mom ... oy, poor mother. My mom's currently in heavy denial. Coming out to her was difficult, I first explained that she's must have noticed that I'm not and have never been feminine. I then told her that I've always felt like a boy and have plans to take adequate steps to fix this 'mistake'. She brushed it off at first as a phase, then I cut my hair, and she finally panicked. I took her to talk to my therapist, gave her stacks of internet print-outs, books, videos, DVDs, and so on and so forth. She hasn't been receptive to anything in particular, but I'm hopeful. I figure that a person will not change unless he or she chooses to change. Because of that, I'm hopeful that time will remedy what I could not.

 

 

My mom. No, seriously, that's my mother.

 

I haven't come out to my extended family, they seem blindsided to it even though I act like a boy, look like a boy, dress like a boy and so on and so forth. I have such a huge extended family that I'm not too close with anyone. I've told two liberal aunts who accepted it as expected. The rest have yet to be told. Frankly though, I've held off telling them because I don't want my immediate family to be excommunicated or become the topic of hurtful gossip. My brother's still fairly young and I don't want my cousins to give him a hard time. That kind of treatment would cause me to, for lack of a better expression, completely flip my shit.

 

By September '05, things had spiraled downward so fast. My dad and mom finally found out and I spilled everything to them. We tried for another month to attend a therapist of their choice at their request, but it didn't work out. I soon found out they were trying to change me instead of trying to comprehend the situation. They finally gave me an ultimatum: stop this because they can't support a lifestyle they don't agree with or else no financial support for me. I'm not the type of person to be threatened, I don't take well to ultimatums and other things that make me feel cornered and forced. Long story short, I got a job, dropped out of college TEMPORARILY and moved in with my friend.

 

The situation is enraging, how can parents do that to their child? I felt betrayed and almost went insane with rage. These people who, since I was young, repeated over and over again that they would love me no matter what suddenly bail at the first sign of trouble. That's unacceptable. I'm not an axe murder, a drug addict, or anything of the sort. I'm trying to go to college and get a master's degree but even that they'll deny me. Regardless, I've come into terms with my feelings towards my parents and the anger's subsided for the most part. I have hope that my parents will come around with time. There's always hope.

In the middle of 2006, with the help of my aunt and uncle, my parents and I began talking again. They agreed to support me as long as I kept this stuff to myself. As long as I can go to school, I was content, because it's what I wanted from the very beginning. I never asked my parents to fund my transition, just things I felt parents were obligated to provide for their children-- food, schooling, and housing.

As of now, my parents tolerate it, but they don't accept it. My father has been the most difficult to convince, but for now, I won't force the issue.